First, set the ambition and identify the problem
One of the conversations I’m most interested in having with people these days starts with “how long do you plan to live?”
Rather than a definitive ambition to live to 100, I hear versions of “I don’t want to live if I’m a burden/suffering/immobile.” But there is no plan to avoid frailty behind this rather consequential belief that a frail life is not worth living.
Today I’d like to assert that we reset our ambition together, to build a plan behind the belief we share that aging poorly is not the vibe!
Aging well, to me, is aging robustly.
I’m discovering that there’s quite a bit entailed in the definition of robust aging for me. Figuring out what serves our humanness ain’t easy.
But it could be.
Willpower may be a limited human resource. But there is a vast untapped sea of motivation to be found in inspiration, camaraderie, and fun.
I believe that it is just and righteous to work on building a world where people are supported to make daily choices in service of long, robust, vibrant lives. This Substack exists because I feel called to inspire people to take actions in service of their health that are doable and fun.
That’s lovely and all, given the forces that are stacked against us.
Beyond our own limited willpower, most cultural influences regarding health are worthy of our suspicion. Studies emerge daily and the facts frequently seem to contradict previous information. Doctors of all types are trying to earn a living at best, swindling people at worst. Just about every “touchpoint” in a modern human life today is cloying or seducing our basic drives in service of profit rather than vibrant human health. It is up to each of us to design our own life that is counter culture if we accept that the ambition of a long, vibrant life is worthy of pursuing.
Aging robustly is not something I see modeled in my life. All of my grandparents died before 80 from illnesses directly linked to their smoking. I’ve had to seek out friendships and people sharing their experiences online to find any elder role-models who are treating their own bodies in a manner that makes sense given what I’ve learned about the body.
Mostly, I find people who carry the ambition for a robust 100 years have partners with whom they are thinking about the reality of aging and how to do it well. Or they might have children and carry this mindset, too. What gets us to make changes is the realization that our daily actions will have profound consequences on the texture of our relationships.
Insight: Our relationships are the juice that make life worth the squeeze.
Which future seems more likely for you in 10, 20, or 30 years from now: walking hand in hand with someone you love through the woods; or holding hands through dialysis?
I’ve not met anyone who wants to be a burden to their loved ones. But I have met more people than I can count who have dug in their heels and didn’t give pilates and CranioSacral therapy a try even after my amazing explainers, complete with demonstrations and fun facts. It boggles the mind!
“I’ll have the robust choice, please”
It’s not that easy, but it could be.
Imagine if it felt normal and natural to do the movements each day that would ensure our bodies could function at the top level of their capacity. Imagine moving all our joints through their full range of motion and having balanced strength through our muscles. Imagine no tension or trauma trapped in our bodies.
That’s somewhat easier to imagine than the culture shift required for food that serves our bodies to be an easy and delicious part of life for all.
As well as the time spent in nature and embedded in community where we all feel heard, seen, and loved. And where we are able to pursue a path that feels aligned and true for us.
I think something in that neighborhood is possible.
For all of us.
Even the two 45 year olds receiving this message who have told me they feel old.
Especially the 49, 54, and 60 year olds who messaged me for help when incapacitation struck from stress or injury for days or weeks when their backs, necks or shoulders were suddenly a 10/10.
These are the before stories. Not the afters.
Do we have to wait for the house to burn before we start the renovations?
Focus on the 168 hours ahead
I am grateful for those of you willing to read and engage in Project 100. Even by letting me into your inbox, you’re permitting a perceptual redirection. You’re making a robust choice to learn about our humanness and maybe make some changes.
Maybe even be so bold as to design a life that is atypical and strange to some.
It gives me great joy to have deeper conversations with other readers making similar life design choices to myself and my partner.
Every one of us gets 168 hours per week.
A fresh, blank canvas to experiment on.
Each of our weeks may look very different, but today’s request is that you make the next 168 hours even more intentional.
What is one thing that you could do that would clearly be in the direction of a robust life and be a meaningful step in caring for someone you love? Or will love?